Golden Weekends

In residency having two days off in a row is kind of a big deal. So much so that it has its own name. golden weekend.



And since residency has started this is my first golden weekend. Although working 12 days straight kind of sucks I think I'd rather do that once if it means I get a golden weekend in return. There is something magical and restorative about having two days off in a row. Yesterday I cleaned, exercised, hung out with hubby and my Sancho, slept in, met co-residents for a drink, furniture shopped and watched a movie. It was a pretty great day off and now I still have today to read, study, BBQ w/friends, swim, grocery shop and finish laundry. By Monday I'll be ready to work which is good because I start inpatient floor this week. just three more days of ID left. I think I'm ready, ID was a great intro but it will be nice to be the primary provider and not simply a consultant...

I've survived my first month of residency, I adore my co-residents and I don't imagine I'll ever grow tired of newborn babies or toddling kiddos or sultry teenagers, peds is awesome and I'm reflecting on just how blessed I am this early golden weekend Sunday.

Happy weekend to you!

Play by play (aka a day in the life...)

6:05 awake, blogging, reading, working on ppt presentation for Monday. Plan for day: ID round and home by noon to enjoy my Saturday.

7:15 phone call from chief resident informing me I'm on back up jeopardy call and that I'm needed in the floor to fill in for sick intern. Team is admitting and has 6 old pts for whom I need to see/write notes.
8:30 walking into hospital, contacting ID attending to inform her of my extra duties, only mildly freaking out. (Times I've worked on Floor team= 0.!!!!)
9:00 pre-round w/ med student, see pts, start notes
10:00 round with ID attending
10:30 round with Team, love my med students!
12:30 get sign out from ID attending
          Get sign out from well nursery, inherit pager and 8 babies
2:00 notes, team stuff
2:30 admit new pt in respiratory distress
4:00 notes, coffee, chit chat with the other weekend warriors
6:00 sign out
7:30 complete ID note
8:00 finish admit H&P
9:00 home, dinner, final episode of Orange is the New Black
10:30 finish ppt for Mon
12:00 edit notes in bed, pre-round on ID census in prep for Sun rounds
12:30 sleep

Highs and lows

Low- sobbing in the middle of the PICU in front of my team while trying to present my patient.

It was the perfect combination of fatigue, high stress, crappy situation, oncoming migraine and frustration. The perfect storm that cultivated in me, in tears...or as Grady Doctor would say, the ugly cry. Nothing discrete or pretty, just raw emotion and sobs. 

Yes, definitely my low. 

High- interacting/talking with a patient and parent several hours later. I had already seen the patient by myself and with my team earlier in the day but he had been sleeping the first time and his mom was on the phone and so I hadn't really finished a full exam yet. My follow up note was complete and  doing an entire PE would not change anything, plus we were not primary so had no pressing reason to go see him again and yet I told myself I needed to. And I'm so glad I did. It was mid-afternoon and the hospital was quiet in the way that no one was really rounding anymore. My patient wouldn't talk but that didn't mean he wasn't communicating. I did my exam and bantered with his mom and nurse. He smiled and pantomimed responses and I updated them on our latest findings. 10 minutes later as I walked out if the room I couldn't believe that I has almost talked myself out of seeing him. 

Residency is all they promised and more. Emotions run high. Child abuse sucks. Life is not fair. 

But then something good happens. A moment. A high. And you can go on again. And that's all I know on this early Saturday morning, one month into residency as I get ready for the start of another day and another week. 

Internship, day 9

So.
It happened.

Intern year started and I survived my first week. I won't lie. It was rough. I felt like a glorified medical student at my best and a worthless imposter in a long white coat at my worst but I made it through. I finally figured out how to get from the elevator to the lounge to the PICU to the bathroom to conference without getting (too) lost. I started to create my own templates and navigate myself around several different EMRs. Now that I'm one plus week in I'm starting to actually feel semi-confident. Or at least no longer super stressed that I'm the worst resident in the world. It is a gradual process.

Of course that being said, I only have one more day of work and then I'm on vacation to The Best Place on Earth. I figured it was a long shot to ask for vacation two weeks after starting but someone has to take vacay in July so why not me? I'm glad I'm going. MS Teen Adventure Camp is the reason I decided to go into Child Neuro so to NOT go to camp would be like a fish that decided to go without water for a minute. I might survive but it would not be pretty.

Residency is scary and I'm not even on the wards yet. I'm on ID this month so it is just consults with tons of fellow and attending support. But still, I'm Dr. Neuro Chick-Kid Doc when I walk into the room. And it is absolutely amazing. I love my patients and parents, I love my job and I especially love the fact that I get to do this for the rest of my life. Today was orientation to continuity clinic and I already have patients scheduled to see ME. I browsed their charts and I just can't wait to see my 5 year old and my brand new newborn baby and the reluctant teenager and whoever else may walk in the door. I just can't wait!

Internship day 10... bring it!