Be the change!

I'm seeking 10+ people who will donate 10 bucks to one of the following causes, your choice. I WILL MATCH your 10 bucks with 10 of my own, for the cause you choose.

First 25 people to respond in the comments below can play (meaning, I'll donate a total of $250).

1) Partners in Health (also site is matching donations today so turn $10 into 40!)
https://donate.pih.org

2) Sacred Stone Camp (no DAPL)
http://sacredstonecamp.org

3) ACLU
https://www.aclu.org

4) Planned Parenthood
https://www.plannedparenthood.org

5) The Trevor Project
http://www.thetrevorproject.org

If you wanna play, say so in the comments and then follow the provided links and post a screenshot of your donation. I'll match your $10 and do the same.

Why am I doing this? Why don't I just donate quietly? Because doing activism is inherently communal. And because it can be fun! And because the more we support these worthwhile groups the more they can do to make the world a better place.

"Be the change!"

#givingtuesday
#unselfie
#friendchallenge
#bethechange

insomnia, crying and other fun pregnancy happenings like retraining a 3 year old dog!

Dear Readers,

FYI -this blog may turn very MiM-ish (Mothers in Medicine a wonderful blog to follow if you don't already) by the way.

I am now in my final month of pregnancy or 35+5 in OB speak. She could come at any time, preferable after 37 weeks but before 39 so that I get a term baby girl with maximum maternity leave. I'm already contracting but they are sporadic and not painful so I'm sure just practice at this point. 

I'm just glad we have made it this far and besides being smallish (10-25%ile for size) she seems perfect. She is currently breech so still hoping for a big switch but I've also resigned myself to the fact that a scheduled section between 39 and 40 weeks will most likely be the outcome and is not the end of the world. I purposely had no birth plan so there is nothing to ruin or disappoint me when I don't have the perfect birth. Any birth will be perfect as long as she arrives safely. 

I am SO close to being done with pedi residency. I just got back from vacation/babymoon which was amazing and now the only thing standing between me and graduation is three days of adolescent clinic, one overnight call and five 1/2 day continuity clinics. I'll work until I deliver but since I'm on research this coming month I'll be focusing on setting up my Pedi Neuro projects. I can't wait!

In other news we decided to do some intensive training with Sancho prior to baby girl's arrival so there is that. We are currently less than one day in and it is emotionally difficult for me, I think I've been crying more hours than not.  Coupled with insomnia, averaging 2-4 hours of sleep/day and hormones and I'm an emotional wreck!

We had him in a board and train while we were away for two weeks and he lost quite a bit of weight from the stress and not eating. And they used a pinch collar for corrections which caught his neck a few times and left a rather nasty looking sore. I know he is fine and it probably doesn't even bother him but it looks awful and I hate to have to correct him when he doesn't listen... But I'm going to do this. We need Sancho to be at 100% with recall and commands by the time baby girl arrives. I have no doubts he will be great with her but he is a pitbull and there are so many misconceptions that we can't afford to have him not listen on a walk, someone witnesses him pulling or snapping at another dog and it is perceived by someone as aggression or danger to the baby. So I'll figure out how to train him without loosing it and we will all be better for it....

That's about all I've got going on here. Goals for today include packing bags for hospital (just in case and to be ready) and working on Sancho training. 

Happy Memorial Day weekend to you!

Happy Match Day, Happy Friday, Happy Mom-to-be!

Happy.

It has been awhile.... Awhile since i've blogged, and awhile since I've been happy.

But I am doing both now.

First of all, congrats to all those who matched today. I remember match day and it was a good day. So much fun, so much excitement. The anticipation! And then the relief and joy!!!

Our program  (Pediatrics) filled and we got our first three choices for Pedi Neuro candidates which makes me quite happy!  (Also all three spots went to women! Yes we do hold up half the sky, thank you very much!)

I have been struggling a bit over the past few months and I think it was due to to a multitude of factors. Fatigue, a difficult schedule with lots of back to back-call/ER/call-months and a bunch of sick patients, chronic patients, emotionally difficult to deal with patients and a very busy time at the hospital with a ton of volume and not a lot of support. Add in pregnancy and it was enough to make me want to give up, quit and retreat to Greece with my dog, husband, a books to sustain me.

But I somehow made it through and here I am, just two weeks away from being done with night float, call or anything inpatient until fellowship! And that is a good feeling.

Oh and another reason to be happy. I'm pregnant and viable at 26 weeks today. Of course I'm quite content for baby to stay safe inside for another 11+ weeks but I can breathe a sigh of relief. My pregnancy while not perfect or fun or glamorous hasn't been that bad. I'm heathy and she is perfect so far as we can tell and that makes me very happy!

So here is a happy dance for you because I feel like we should celebrate. I hope to get back to this blog now that I'm out of my tunnel of darkness and have a bit more time. I have much to reflect upon and share from my second year of residency but for today I simple want to be happy!

Just like that

Just like that,  everything changes.

One day I was an intern, the next a second year!

One day I was a fur parent, the next planning for a baby (maybe).

One day I was a renter, the next a proud house owner.

It has been an eventful month to say the least. Lots of changes and exciting things happening around here.

Life is good. Happy Thursday to you!

and then she was two (pgy-2)

Wow!
Complete.
Done.

After today I will officially be finished with intern year. It is a great feeling.

This year flew by. I had my days and months even when I was tired, anxious, self-doubting but I had many more good days and the months turned into a year and now I'm a big, bad grown up second  year. Resident still, yes. Intern, hell NO!

Anyhow. It has been a journey. But a good one. I finished off on Development and Behavior which is technically a 2nd year rotation (but because I'm Pedi Neuro we get that instead of Pedi Neuro intern year) so I've been done with the intern/team pager and phone, countless progress notes and all that fun intern jazz for awhile now. No complaints here. Today I get to go to daycare, observe different aged kids normal behavior and then go the the ECI office to learn about Early Childhood Intervention in this great state of Texas. And that is all. Then it is Happy Night with my co-no-longer interns to celebrate.

Life is good. Second year is going to rock. Bring it!

Maya, reflecting, poem of the day

First of all I'm reflecting on the recent passing of Mayo Angelo. Poet, author, dancer, feminist and activist. An all around amazing woman. This is one of her earlier poems... it says so much, so well.

Still I Rise

Maya Angelou, 1928-2014

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

--

And it also seems a bit apropos for the end of intern year. Intern year where is seems like many days/weeks/months I was burned out, tired, trampled on and shot with words.  And yes I realize that this is NOT what Maya was writing about but it is a beautiful poem and I think my analogy also works. 

Enjoying my day off surfing the internet, drinking coffee and daydreaming. The weather is rainy and its a nice day to be inside catching up on stuff. Happy Hump Day to you too!

NICU nights and cookies!

I'm on NICU and tonight will be my final night before switching back to days. So far it has been an okay month. It started off kind of slow and I was a wee bit bored but then I switched to nights and like all my other rotations on nights I kind of like it. The autonomy, the ability to talk to parents, the quiet, yada, yada.

I'm NOT loving the being woken to a sound of the pager and having approximately one minute to wake up from dead asleep and sprint to delivery to help with baby resuscitation. Jarring and scary and not fun. But otherwise, NICU is okay. Minus the math.

One more month of intern year. It was hard and not that bad and awful and great - depending upon the day, the moment, the month. But I've made it (well almost) I signed my contract for next year so I would have to really mess up now to NOT be a PGY-2 in just 45 short days. Woo hoo!

That is all I've got. Oh and it is national chocolate chip cookie day so I need to go bake. Recipe lifted from some blog way back in my med school days. I tried quite a few and think this one really is closest to the coveted Doubletree cookies. Enjoy!

1/2 cup rolled oats 
 2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour 
 1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda 
 1 teaspoon salt 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon 
 1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened 
 3/4 cup brown sugar, packed 
 3/4 cup granulated sugar 
 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla 
 1/2 teaspoon lemon juice 
 2 eggs 
 3 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips 
 1 1/2 cups chopped walnuts 

 1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. 
 2. Grind oats in a food processor or blender until fine. Combine the ground oats with the flour, baking soda, salt and cinnamon in a medium bowl. 
 3. Cream together the butter, sugars, vanilla, and lemon juice in another medium bowl with an electric mixer. Add the eggs and mix until smooth. 
 4. Stir the dry mixture into the wet mixture and blend well. Add the chocolate chips and nuts to the dough and mix by hand until ingredients are well-incorporated. 
 5. Spoon rounded 1/4-cup portions onto an ungreased cookie sheet. Place the scoops about 2 inches apart. You don't need to press the dough flat. Bake for 16-18 minutes or until cookies are light brown and soft in the middle. Store in a sealed container when cool to keep soft. For the best results, chill the dough overnight in the refrigerator before baking the cookies. Makes 20 cookies.